When you occassionally have a really bad day,

and you just need to take it out on someone,

don't take it out on someone you know,

take it out on someone you don't know.

It all started one day when I was sitting at my desk and remembered a phone call I had forgotten to make.

I found the number and dialed it.

A man answered, saying, "hello."

I politely said, "This is Chris.

May I please speak with Robin Carter?"

Suddenly, the phone was slammed down on me. I couldn't believe that anyone would be so rude.

I tracked down Robin's correct number and called her.

I had transposed the last two digits of her phone number.

After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again.

When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled, "you're an idiot!" and hung up.

I wrote his number down with the word idiot next to it, and put it in my desk drawer.

Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day, I'd call him up and yell,
"you're and idiot!"

It always cheered me up.

When caller ID came to our area, I thought my therapeutic 'idiot' calling would have to stop.

So, I called his number and said, "hi, this is John Smith from the Telephone Company, I'm just
calling to see if you're interested in the Caller ID Program?"

He yelled "NO!" and slammed the phone down.

I quickly called him back and said, "that's because you're an idiot!"

One day I was at a store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot.

Some guy in a bl@ck BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had patiently waited for.

I hit the horn and yelled that I had been waiting for that spot.

The idiot ignored me.

I noticed a 'For Sale' sign on his car window, so I wrote down his number.

A couple of days later, right after calling the first idiot, (I had his number on speed dial by now), I
thought I had better call the BMW idiot, too.

I said, "is this the man with the bl@ck BMW for sale?"

"Yes, it is," he said.

"Can you tell me where I can see it?" I asked.

"Yes, I live at 1802 West 34th Street. It's a yellow house and the car's parked right out front."

"What's your name?" I asked.

"My name's Don Hansen," he replied.

"When's a good time to catch you Don?" I said.

"I'm home every evening after five," he said.

"Listen, Don, can I tell you something?" I asked.

"Yes?" he said.

"Don, you're an idiot."

Then I hung up and added his number to my speed dial.

After several weeks of calling the two of them alternately, I figured there was an even better
idea.

So I called the first idiot: "You're an idiot!"

I shouted (but I didn't hang up)

"Are you still there?" he asked.

"Yeah," I replied

"Stop calling me!" he screamed.

"Make me," I said.

" What's your name?" he demanded.

"Don Hansen," I responded.

"Where do you live?" he asked.

"Idiot, I live at 1802 West 34th Street, a yellow house with a beamer parked right in front." I
said.

"Alright Don, you better start saying your prayers because I'm coming over right now!" he said.

"Ha! Like I'm really scared, idiot." I said.

Then I called idiot 2. "Hello?" he said.

"Hello idiot." I said.

He yelled, "if I ever find out who you are!"

"You'll what?" I asked.

"I'll kick your @ss!" he exclaimed.

I answered, "well here's your chance, idiot. I'm coming over right now.

Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I live at 1802 West 34th Street,
and that I was on my way over there to kill my g@y lover.

Then I called Channel 4 News about the gang war going down on West 34th Street.

I quickly got into my car and drove over to 34th Street.

There I saw two idiots beating the crap out of each other in front of 6 squad cars, a police
helicopter, and a news crew.

Now I feel much better.

Man, anger management really works!